Is there an expiration date on your doing weddings?
A few years ago I did a presentation “How to be the experienced wedding pro, without sounding old.” I had a lot of feedback from wedding pros, young and old, about what it means to be too old to do what you’re doing now. There are 50+ year old DJs rocking it every weekend, and others in their 30’s who think their clock is ticking loudly as they approach 40. What’s the difference?
Listen to this new 8-minute episode to see how loudly you clock is ticking and when it’s time for you to pack it in… if ever!
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– Is there an expiration date on your doing weddings? I’ve been in the wedding and event industry a long time, over 25 years, and I have a lot of friends who have been in the industry that long, some longer, some almost that long. And this comes up as a conversation, sometimes on social media, sometimes in person, sometimes just when I’m consulting with people, and that’s, is there an expiration date for you? Is there a time when you’re too old to be doing what you’re doing, or you’ve been doing it too long? And I think, the short answer to me is, no. But the longer answer is, it kind of depends upon what you do, how physically taxing it is, what kind of shape you’re in, and a bunch of other things there. From an appearance standpoint, the one that comes up the most, is usually the DJ. You know, because people, if you say DJ, people picture a young person, you know, being the DJ. If you see an older person being a DJ, what do you think, right? Are you making your impression? And unfortunately, we are humans, so we do this, we shouldn’t, but we do, making our impression based upon the way they look.
The truth of the matter is, the best DJs that I know are not the young kids. The best DJs I know have been doing it longer, and that’s why they’re so good at what they do. It’s because they have been doing it longer, they have more experience, and that longevity has made them that good. And yeah, you know, a lot of them are the age of the parents of the people who are getting married. A few of them might be the age of the grandparents of the people that are getting married, depending upon the age of the couple. But you know, if you’re the venue, does it matter? No. If you’re the florist, does it matter? No. Should it matter? No. And I think a lot of people make this a problem for themselves. I’ve done presentations about this, you know, about, you know, are you too old to do what you do? And the thing is, a lot of it is mentality. I mean, I know a lot of people that are in their 50s and in their 60s that are just out there, just doing a great job, enjoying it, their customers love them, the reviews are fantastic. And that means no, their clock is still going and going and going, and there’s no expiration date, it’s for you. And then I know people in their 40s who were like, yeah, I can’t see doing this when I hit 45. I’m like, really? Really, right? And that’s perception on your part. You know, you, if you don’t see yourself doing it past there, you’re putting that limitation on yourself. That’s nobody else doing that to you, that’s the person in the mirror that’s doing that.
So yeah, I think, you know, do you want to be carrying heavy equipment and doing things when you’re, you know, at a certain age? I don’t know if you want to be doing that in your 30s, no less older than that. And that kind of reminds me back when I was playing in bands, when I first started getting band equipment, when I was a teenager. It was, you know, the biggest stuff. I had this speaker, was four and a half feet tall, with two 15 inch speakers on angles, it was huge. My parents literally had to get a station wagon to be able to carry my band equipment. By the time I stopped gigging, which was a little bit after college, a little bit after I got married, I had a tiny, little two door hatchback car, and I could put everything into there. Because I had one speaker, I had the amp, I had my keyboard. And at one point before that, I had three keyboards stacked up, because I had to be like, you know, the rock bands, we had to have that. But then it came down to just, you know, let’s be practical here, one keyboard that had a lot of sounds on it, one speaker with the amp, everything fit into this little, tiny car. It was really a little, tiny car, versus the station wagon or the van or whatever you needed to have before that. So, is there an expiration date on what you do? I don’t think there is unless it’s self-limited. And again, unless there’s physical limitations on there, and that’s not necessarily an age thing, because there were people in their 40s who have back trouble and they shouldn’t be carrying equipment. And there are people in their 60s who are carrying the stuff up and down stairs, like it’s nothing because they can do that. So, other than the physical limitation there, it’s a mental limitation for you.
You know, the presentation I did was called, “How to be the experienced wedding pro without sounding old.” And it think there are things we do, that can make us sound old to the customer, which are not relevant. So, if you’re a grandparent, and you’re proud of being a grandparent, that’s great. But if you’re talking to your wedding couples about being a grandparent, is it relevant to what you’re going to do for their wedding? Now, you want to have a picture of your grandkids on the table? That’s great. My friend, Big Daddy, Sean Big Daddy McKee, just posted a Facebook post with his six grandkids, and he is the proudest of grandpa’s, right? And he is out there killing it every weekend, and during the week sometimes too, doing great jobs. And no, he’s not the age of the people getting married, he’s the age of their parents or maybe older now because he got the six grandkids. But that’s not relevant to what he’s going to do for a wedding. And it’s not relevant to what you, as the photographer or the videographer or the officiant, or the florist or anybody else involved in the wedding, your age is not what’s important. What’s important is what you’re going to do for the couple. If you’re doing a bar mitzvah, a quinceañera, or a corporate event, it’s what you’re going to do for the client. And that’s why highlighting your reviews, your current reviews.
The most important thing with reviews, I’ve said this before, yes, the number of reviews, yes, the average score. But it’s also the recency of the reviews, is most important, and if you’re responding to those reviews, so your personality is there. But the recency shows what you did last week or last month, not what you did, 5, 10, 15, 25 years ago. So yes, I do recommend taking the since 1994 off your website. Unless you’re the type of company where they’re dealing more with the company, not with that individual. But you know, to say that you have 30 years worth of experience, that’s not what’s relevant. What you did 30 days ago is relevant to what you can do for this couple today, or this company today, or this mitzvah family, or this quinceañera family, today. That’s what they care about. So, the expiration date is self-imposed, if you don’t want to be doing it because you don’t enjoy it anymore, that’s a different story. That’s a self limitation as well, and that’s fine. But age is just the number. The number is not, what’s going to limit you, on when you should stop doing weddings and events, there are other factors that are much more significant to that. So, don’t put a number on for yourself, hey, when I hit 50, I’m going to stop doing this, or 60 or 40, whatever the number is. I think it’s, if you’re finding joy, bringing joy to people and just doing a great job, and you’re loving it and they’re loving it, and you’re profiting from it, I don’t think age comes into factor, I don’t think you should put a number or a date on that one. So, don’t limit yourself. Let the other factors that are much more significant limit whether or not you could or should or want to be doing what you do, but age to me, isn’t one of them.
I’m Alan Berg. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions about this or if you’d like to suggest other topics for “The Wedding Business Solutions Podcast” please let me know. My email is [email protected]. Look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thanks.
Listen to this and all episodes on Apple Podcast, YouTube or your favorite app/site:
- Apple Podcast:
- YouTube: www.WeddingBusinessSolutionsPodcast.tv
- Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3sGsuB8
- Stitcher:
- Google Podcast:
- iHeart Radio: https://ihr.fm/31C9Mic
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