Who’s the real decision-maker?
I was doing a sales training for a small group and the question came up about figuring out who the decision maker is when you’re dealing with a group of people. In this episode I expand on this topic to figuring out who the decision-maker is when you’re on the phone, or when you don’t get to meet with everyone who will be involved in the final decision.
Listen to this new 8-minute episode for some tips to help you figure out when you’re dealing with all of the decision-makers.
If you have any questions about anything in this, or any of my podcasts, or have a suggestion for a topic or guest, please reach out directly to me at [email protected] or visit my website Podcast.AlanBerg.com
Please be sure to subscribe to this podcast and leave a review (thanks, it really does make a difference). If you want to get notifications of new episodes and upcoming workshops and webinars, you can sign up at www.ConnectWithAlanBerg.com
– Who’s the real decision maker? Listen to this episode, find out where I’m going with this one.
Hi, it’s Alan Berg. Welcome back to another episode of the “Wedding Business Solutions” podcast. This topic came up when I was having a discussion the other day during a sales training I was doing for a small group. And the topic came up because sometimes you’re meeting with more than one person or the person that you’re meeting with may or may not be the final decision maker or the only decision maker. So the question came up, you know, how do you find out who is the decision maker?
So there were a few things to go along here. Let’s start with the first one, let’s assume it’s a wedding and let’s assume that you’re having a meeting with people. Actually, it doesn’t have to be a wedding. You’re meeting with more than one person. You might think you know who the decision maker is. It might be the person that reached out to you, the person that originally contacted you. And that may or may not be the case.
So what you want to look for is if you talk to that person, if you direct your question at that person, do they look at somebody else? Now, occasionally they’re going to do that anyway. But if it happens a lot and there’s a pattern to who they’re looking at, that person they’re looking at for validation, they might be the actual decision maker or this person might just want to get the validation of that person before making a decision. And if you’ve heard the other episode I did on indecision, you might find where, again, they might be sold on you but until they get that validation from the other person they’re not going to make a decision. Another thing you don’t want to do is assume that the person that you’re talking to is the only decision maker.
So if you’re only meeting with one person, and this could be for a wedding or other type of event, a mitzvah, a quince, a party, a fundraiser, it could be a corporate event, don’t assume that that person is the only decision maker and please don’t assume that they’re not the decision maker. Gatekeepers, administrative assistants, even interns. They can make or break this if they are that in-between person. If they’re the go-between for you and the actual decision maker, if you don’t make them feel important, they can kibosh that whole deal.
So, never say who’s the decision maker on this or who’s the final decision maker or who has the final say so. Always use it as who besides yourself will be involved in the final decision for this? Even if they’re not, they’re going to now feel more important, they’re going to like you better. So remember, not who is, who besides yourself would be the question there. So when you have a group in person, ’cause on Zoom it’s going to be harder for this, but if you have a group in person, watch the body language. I’ve spoken about this before. I believe on here, I know I had her on a while back, Traci Brown. T-R-A-C-I Brown. She’s got a little skinny book called “Body Language Confidential.” And her business is all about body language and teaching body language and finding out fraud and who’s lying. She works a lot in the banking industry. She has courses on that to, you know, find out how people are lying. Sign up for her newsletter that comes out. She’s got real fun stories about a lot of times people in the news and some video and she calls it, you know, are they pants on fire, are they telling the truth? But Tracy Brown, T-R-A-C-I Brown had this little book. And I remember reading it a while back and it’s the body language with the eyes, it’s also with the feet, right?
So, you know, one body language that we notice is when the body language is closed. So their arms are crossed, they’re sitting back in their chair away from you. That’s body language saying I’m trying to keep my distance, I’m not open literally and figuratively to what you’re saying right now. “You want to get them to uncross their arms,” she said, “because even just the act of uncrossing their arms will make them more receptive to what you’re saying.” So if their arms are crossed, assuming it’s not just that it’s cold ’cause that is a reason why people will cross their arms. If you give them something to hold, give them something to write with, give them a drink or something where they have to uncross their arms to then take that, that will also help. Watch the feet. If you have a bunch of people standing together, watch the feet of the person that’s talking. Are they pointing their feet at certain person all the time? Is their body physically there? Even though their upper body might not be, if their feet are pointed towards someone, it could be a sign that they’re giving that person more importance.
So you want to look for that as well. So who is the real decision maker? It might be the person you’re talking to. What came up in this sales training I was doing is I said, “Who is the decision maker when you have a whole group of people?” And one person said, “Well it’s the person that’s talking the most.” And I said, “No. No, that’s not necessarily the case.” There are people that will talk a lot and they’re not the decision maker. There are people that will talk a lot because they want to be heard, they want the attention, they want to feel more important. What you want to watch for there is when that person is talking a lot, watch the other people’s eyes. Are they looking at them wondering what they’re going to say? Or are they looking at them with some sort of disdain like, “Oh my gosh. They’re going on again, they’re talking again.” I think we all know somebody like that, whether it’s a friend or a relative or whatever. We all know somebody that’s going to talk, even though they’re not the final decision maker, they might even talk over the person that actually is.
So if you watch the eyes and you see that the person you think is the decision maker is kind of rolling their eyes when the other person is talking, you’re finding out that that other person may not be the decision maker but they also, because they’re the loud voice, literally and figuratively there, they can also kibosh this if you don’t make them feel included in the conversation. So who is the real decision maker? It can get a lot more complicated when you have a bunch of people together. It can also be complicated when there’s only one person because the other people that you may never get to talk to, you may never get to meet, like the partner if it’s a wedding, and you’re only meeting with one person ’cause the other person’s not available. Or if it’s the parents that might be helping them with pay or just they want to run it by them because they’ve never made a decision like this before.
So who besides yourself will be involved in the final decision? And if they say they need to talk to someone else, talk to their parents, talk to their partner whatever, a good question to ask them is, “If this was only your decision, and I know it’s not, but if it was, would you be moving ahead with me right now?” And you’re trying to let the phrase is, take their temperature to find out how hot or cold they are on the decision of going ahead with you. If they say they want to talk to the parents, you could say, “What do you think the most important thing is for them to have them feel just as satisfied as you are right now that we’re the right fit?”
So questions like that to equip them to maybe find out, ask better questions of the other people or to find out really if they’re just trying to put you off and saying I need to talk to someone when they’re really not sold on you either. So it’s more complicated, I can’t give you just a black and white in every situation but there are some tips that could help you maybe whittle it down a little bit more to find out who the decision maker is or decision makers are so that you can help to get closer to the sale. If you’re not with all the decision makers and you’re trying to ask for the sale, you’re probably never going to get it because you have to satisfy those other people as well.
So I hope I give you something to think about and some tips that you can use right away. Thanks for listening.
I’m Alan Berg. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions about this or if you’d like to suggest other topics for “The Wedding Business Solutions Podcast” please let me know. My email is [email protected]. Look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thanks.
Listen to this and all episodes on Apple Podcast, YouTube or your favorite app/site:
- Apple Podcast:
- YouTube:WeddingBusinessSolutionsPodcast.tv
- Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3sGsuB8
- Stitcher:
- Google Podcast:
- iHeart Radio: https://ihr.fm/31C9Mic
- Pandora:
©2023 Wedding Business Solutions LLC & AlanBerg.com
