Things that can make you sound old!
Are you unintentionally making yourself sound outdated in your emails or client communications? Do you still use phrases like “PS,” “enclosed please find,” or “per my previous email” and wonder why your younger clients aren’t responding? In this episode, I share what happens when language and etiquette don’t keep up with the times, why Gen Z might be confused by some of your go-to phrases, and how small changes in wording can help you connect with today’s couples. Discover the subtle ways your language might be holding you back and what to use instead so you’re not accidentally putting a generational distance between you and your next booking.
Listen to this new 9-minute episode for practical phrases to use, tips on writing messages that connect, and ways to avoid sounding out of touch with younger clients.
If you have any questions about anything in this, or any of my podcasts, or have a suggestion for a topic or guest, please reach out directly to me at [email protected] or visit my website Podcast.AlanBerg.com
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View the full transcript on Alan’s site: https://alanberg.com/blog/
Summary
In this episode, I dive into the subtle ways our language can instantly reveal our age or even create an unintentional distance between us and today’s wedding clients. The conversation focused on everyday phrases and writing habits that sound outdated or overly formal to younger generations, particularly Gen Z. One concept discussed was how terms like “P.S.”, “enclosed please find”, or “at your earliest convenience” come across as relics from another era. I shared how my own experiences, including a recent workshop interaction with a Gen Z attendee who did not know what “P.S.” means, opened my eyes to the generation gap in communication styles.
A key theme that emerged was the importance of simplifying language to mirror how people actually talk and write now. The discussion explored practical swaps, encouraging the use of “BTW” instead of “P.S.”, and replacing stiff sign-offs like “sincerely” or “cordially” with a simple “thanks”. Several points were raised, including how emails should be short enough to fit on one screen, use easy-to-read formatting, and end with a clear, direct question. I also talked about keeping communication inclusive, for example, referring to “couples” or “partners” instead of just “bride and groom,” and avoiding formal appointment language in favor of casual invites like “pick a time to chat”.
The episode also addresses digital habits, such as making contact info prominent and current on social platforms, recognizing many younger clients might never visit a website, and understanding the frustration of difficult-to-navigate customer service. I encouraged the use of AI tools to analyze and refresh business messaging to better connect with Gen Z audiences. Ultimately, the episode aims to help all of us in the wedding industry sound more approachable and up-to-date so we can continue to build great relationships with clients of every generation.
Things that can make you sound old. Listen to this, see where I’m going. Hey, it’s Allen Berg. Welcome back to another episode of the Wedding Business Solutions podcast. I was doing a workshop the other day and I was talking about, as I have for a long time, that you shouldn’t ask for the call or the meeting right away because it’s high friction. It’s, it’s a high commitment issue and it’s going to get you ghosted. And I suggest that you could put a PS after your name. and say, P.S., if a call or a meeting is easier for you, click here if you have a calendar link or respond to this.
And there was a young gentleman in the audience who was Gen Z, and he said, what’s a P.S.? I said, what’s a postscript? You know, if you write a letter after your name, you say, oh, by the way, here you go, postscript. He goes, I don’t know what that is. So I started doing a little research. What other phrases like that are showing their age, or maybe we’re showing our age. I’m not sure if it’s one or both of those things. So I did a little bit of research. So here’s what we suggest. Instead of PS, say BTW, by the way.
So same thing, you write your short email, fits on one screen, one question at the end. Like I always say, put your name, and then before your signature, put BTW. If, if it’s easier for you, we can have a call or a Zoom, or if you’re trying to get them in for a tour, or if you’d like to arrange a tour, Click here, and they click to a link where they can do that or respond to this. Other things that I’ve seen that sound very formal: I have attached. You just say, here’s, or I’ve included. Enclosed, please find. I mean, this is back when I was taught how to write a proper business letter. If you had an attachment in there, you would say, enclosed, please find.
Just, just don’t say it. Just, just say what you have there, right? At your earliest convenience. Whenever you have a chance, please do not hesitate to contact me. Just reply if you have any questions. Sincerely. Very formal. Now, I do find sometimes if I’m writing to people in South America in Spanish, there’s still a more formal style, right? So they’ll say estimado Alan, which is like dear Alan at the top, and they’ll have a sign-off at the, at the end also. So things in English like sincerely, cordially, things like that.
Just say thanks. Just the thanks and put your name. Again, formal business letters is not how people write these days. There are times I believe you should be matching the style. So if somebody writes to you and says, you know, dear Ms. Smith or dear Mr. Smith or Ms. Smith or something like that, you could write back dear.
But this is part of mirroring, right? Depending upon the relationship, do you want it to be less formal? Do you want them— you don’t have to call me, you know, Mr. Berg, you know, then you can write back and say, you know, hi, Chris. Right. Or something like that. You know, kindly. Again, it’s a very formal word. It’s polite, but in writing it looks very formal and it could look old. You may not be older, but it could make you look that way.
Per my previous email, you know, just following up. Although I say never just be following up unless you’re also adding value. Right? So other things that came up in this research, we’d like to schedule a consultation. Say, Want to jump on a quick call? Right? Don’t say, I have availability. You know, I’m available Tuesday or Thursday if that’s easier. Or I always say give a choice of 2 because it’s easier for people to make a decision if you give them a choice of 2. You know, don’t say, I look forward to hearing from you. Just end with your question.
Remember, don’t bury that question in there. Of course you look forward to hearing from them, but if you ask a question, That’s what they’re reading, because remember, we scan, we don’t read. They scan, they see that question. Thank you for your inquiry. And thanks for reaching out. That’s what I always say. Thanks for reaching out. Thanks for reaching out about having me help you with whatever it is that they asked about.
So now, you know, we’re on the same page there. And I am thankful. I am thankful. My business depends on people reaching out and asking me if I can help them with different things. We pride ourselves on, again, very formal. Here’s what you can expect. Here’s what you and your guests can expect, right? So, you know, many Gen Xs and baby boomers were taught that a professional email should have several paragraphs explaining everything. Not anymore.
You know, it’s gotta fit on one screen. It’s gotta be easy to scan, short paragraphs, one idea at a time, white space in there, mobile-friendly for sure. So if you’re not looking at what your messages look like on a phone, you’re not seeing what your customers are seeing, right? Easy to skim, one question at the end. You know, don’t assume they’re gonna read your message, right? Texting, a lot of people these days texting. If WhatsApp is popular where you are, WhatsApping, right? Instagram DMs, Facebook DMs, all the different ways people can do that. Another thing this Gen Z said is, he said, you know, I don’t look at websites. Right. I look at your socials.
I don’t look at websites. So make sure your socials are up to date. Make sure your contact information is up to date. Make sure it’s easy to get ahold of you. It still boggles my mind how hard it is that people make it to get ahold of them. Uh, I’m a little ticked off at a couple of companies I’ve been dealing with for a long time and who I give a lot of business to because they’ve taken the click here to call us off of their app. And now you have to dig through different things or even just to send them a message. You have to, you know, answer questions and things like, just let me send you a message.
Right? Or just let me call you. And listen, there are times I want to call because I want to speak to somebody now. And when it says, would you like to, you know, chat with a text with us? I’m like, no, no, I would like to talk to a person right now. And other times, yeah, sure, it’s fine. I’ll chat with you. I’ll even chat with your chatbot if it gives me the answers, right?
And it’s just happened just today, actually. Somebody’s saying bride and groom. Well, I get it. Most of the people getting married are a bride and groom, right? Are a man and a woman, but certainly not all of them. In certain areas, a larger percentage might not be. So you have to try not to be exclusive with your language where you’re excluding people. So, you know, it’s the couple, it’s both of you, it’s, you know, partners, things like that. You know, the bridal couple, but even that could be— and a bridal couple is kind of an older one as well. I was told that brides and grooms is a more inclusive way to say it because it could be 2 brides or 2 grooms, right? But we also have our non-binary friends. So, you know, just friends, you guys, things like that. You know, even scheduling an appointment, it sounds very formal.
Hey, you know, let’s pick up a time to chat, right? All caps. You know, I’m not going to get political here, but, you know, using all caps is wrong because if you capitalize everything, Nothing has emphasis. Just imagine if you put bold text on the entire message. Nothing stands out because everything is bolded. The idea of bold is to highlight the phrase, the word or the phrase that you want to stand out. It’s the same thing with caps. Caps are fine for headlines, but you don’t want to be writing in all caps. It’s actually harder to read.
You know, please advise. No, just say, what do you think? If you are interested. Right? Does this sound like what you’re looking for? Right? So things like that, these things here, you know, we don’t have a telephone call. It’s a call or a text. It’s not an appointment. It’s a chat. It’s not a consultation. It’s a quick call.
Right? Just different things like this. You can use AI to find some of these, ChatGPT, Ask Alan Anything, your choice of one of those. But a good thing to do is to take your messaging, put that into your favorite AI, of course one that you’ve taught you so it understands you, and say, you know, what in here doesn’t really— isn’t relatable to a Gen Y/Z audience? Or if you’re doing more Gen Z, just say Gen Z so that it can come back and say, hey, these— this phrasing over here, maybe you want to tweak that. And this is my favorite use of AI, is taking your content and tweaking it. That’s what we do in our AI workshops. That’s what I wrote about in my book, AI for the Real World. So, you know, it’s these words and phrases that make— can make us sound old or out of date or just not connect with the audience that you’re trying to connect with. So, uh, I, I thank the Gen Z that pointed this out to me because I never thought about it.
Like, I know what a PS is. That’s the curse of knowledge. How would I not know what that is? once I know what it is. He didn’t know because he had never heard that. Now I know I’m going to be writing BTW instead. By the way, I know maybe some of my— some Gen Xers out there may be like, what? What does that mean? So go look it up. Hey, thanks for listening. If you need help with AI, ask Alan anything at whatwouldalansay.com.
And then my book, AI for the Real World, at shopalanberg.com. Thanks.
I’m Alan Berg. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions about this or if you’d like to suggest other topics for “The Wedding Business Solutions Podcast” please let me know. My email is [email protected] or you can text, use the short form on this page, or call +1.732.422.6362, international 001 732 422 6362. I look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thanks.
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Question
What’s the biggest giveaway that my emails sound old-fashioned?
Tags:
#communication #email #branding
Answer
If you’re using phrases like “P.S.,” “enclosed please find,” “sincerely,” or “per my previous email,” you’re coming across as formal and dated. Today, people expect short, simple, natural language that fits on one screen. Modern communication flows better with casual sign-offs and simple requests.
Takeaway: Formal language makes you sound out of touch.
Question
Should I still use “P.S.” in my business emails?
Tags:
#email #language #generational
Answer
Many younger clients don’t even know what “P.S.” means. Instead, use “BTW” or simply add a quick note at the end of your message. This keeps your style modern and relatable for Gen Z and millennials.
Takeaway: Swap “P.S.” for “BTW” to sound current.
Question
How can I update my follow-up emails to connect better with today’s couples?
Tags:
#sales #email #customerexperience
Answer
Skip lines like “per my previous email” or “I look forward to hearing from you.” Instead, end with a direct question or action step. Make communication short, conversational, and easy to scan. That’s what people expect now.
Takeaway: End with a question, not a formal sign-off.
Question
How formal should my emails be when I first connect with clients?
Tags:
#sales #communication #relationshipbuilding
Answer
Match the client’s style. If they start off formal with “Dear Ms. Smith,” mirror that. But you can usually keep it friendly and casual. Simple sign-offs like “Thanks” feel warmer and less dated than “sincerely” or “cordially.”
Takeaway: Mirror your client’s tone, but keep things relaxed.
Question
What’s a more modern way to handle attachments in my emails?
Tags:
#email #efficiency #communication
Answer
Drop phrases like “I have attached” or “enclosed, please find.” Just say “here’s” or “I’ve included.” Clear and direct language saves time and feels friendly.
Takeaway: Simplicity beats old-school formality in emails.
Question
Is it okay to say “bride and groom” to every couple?
Tags:
#weddings #inclusion #language
Answer
Not every couple is a bride and groom. Use inclusive language like “the couple,” “you both,” or “partners.” This way, everyone feels welcome and seen—no one gets excluded by outdated phrases.
Takeaway: Inclusive language welcomes every client.
Question
Do long emails impress clients these days?
Tags:
#email #clientexperience #communication
Answer
Long, multi-paragraph emails don’t work anymore. Most people read on their phones and skim for the main point. Keep it short, add white space, and stick to one idea per paragraph. End with just one clear question.
Takeaway: Short and scannable always wins.
Question
How should I offer a meeting or call without sounding pushy?
Tags:
#sales #meetings #moderncommunication
Answer
Skip “consultation” or “schedule an appointment.” Instead, say, “Want to jump on a quick call?” or “I’m available Tuesday or Thursday—what’s better for you?” Give people an easy choice and keep it casual.
Takeaway: Make connecting easy and low-pressure.
Question
Do I need to focus more on my website or my social media?
Tags:
#marketing #socialmedia #clientexperience
Answer
Younger clients check your socials first, not your website. Make sure your Instagram, Facebook, or TikTok are fresh, up-to-date, and include current contact info. If you’re hard to find, people move on fast.
Takeaway: Your socials are usually your first impression.
Question
Why is making it easy to contact me so important?
Tags:
#customerexperience #sales #accessibility
Answer
If it’s hard to call, message, or DM you, couples will just give up. Keep “click to call” and messaging options front and center—no one wants to dig through your site for a contact form.
Takeaway: Easy contact means fewer lost leads.
Question
Is it still okay to use all caps for emphasis in business emails?
Tags:
#email #branding #communication
Answer
Writing in all caps doesn’t add emphasis—it’s just hard to read and feels like shouting. Use bold for short phrases you want to highlight, but only sparingly.
Takeaway: Less is more when emphasizing your message.
Question
How can I make sure my emails don’t feel exclusive or outdated?
Tags:
#language #branding #modernbusiness
Answer
Replace formal words like “kindly,” “appointment,” or “please advise” with casual alternatives like “what do you think?” or “let’s find a time to chat.” It’s all about sounding modern and approachable.
Takeaway: Modern language builds stronger connections.
Question
Can AI help me write better emails for younger clients?
Tags:
#AI #communication #modernization
Answer
Absolutely! Paste your message into an AI tool and ask, “What sounds outdated to Gen Z?” Use the suggestions to tweak your wording so it lands with today’s couples.
Takeaway: Let AI modernize your messaging for new audiences.
Question
Am I being too formal if I say, “We pride ourselves on…”?
Tags:
#language #customerexperience #modernbusiness
Answer
That kind of phrase can sound stiff and old-fashioned. Swap it for simple, direct language like, “Here’s what you and your guests can expect.” Focus on clarity and friendliness, not tradition.
Takeaway: Clear, direct language fosters trust.
Question
Is it a problem to use “telephone call” or “consultation” in my communication?
Tags:
#language #sales #communication
Answer
Those words feel outdated and formal. Just say “call,” “chat,” or “quick call.” It’s more inviting and sounds like you’re up to date with how people actually talk.
Takeaway: Use modern words to sound approachable.
Question
How should I encourage people to reply to my emails?
Tags:
#sales #communication #email
Answer
Forget, “please do not hesitate to contact me.” Instead, try, “just reply if you have any questions,” or a simple direct ask. You’ll get more responses by being straightforward.
Takeaway: Clear calls to action get more replies.
Question
How can I adapt my style for international clients?
Tags:
#international #communication #sales
Answer
If someone writes you in a formal style (like “Estimado Alan” in Spanish), mirror their approach to show respect. But for most clients, a relaxed, friendly tone is best.
Takeaway: Mirror international formality, stay casual elsewhere.
Question
Why is using “guys” or “friends” in group messages risky?
Tags:
#inclusion #branding #language
Answer
Not everyone identifies with “guys” or “friends.” It’s safer to use neutral terms like “the couple” or “everyone,” so nobody feels left out or mislabeled.
Takeaway: Neutral terms help everyone feel included.
Question
What’s one quick way to modernize my business communication today?
Tags:
#quicktip #language #communication
Answer
Review your last few emails and replace any formal or old-school phrases with casual, straightforward language. Just updating your sign-off and greeting can make a big difference.
Takeaway: Small changes can instantly update your image.
