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Here's the article wedding couples don't want to hear... but they need to

I recently had an article published in Beautiful Bride Magazine entitled “5 Things Your Guests Won’t Tell You”. As most of you know, I don’t usually write for wedding couples, rather for wedding and event professionals. These articles give me free reign to speak my mind, as I would advise someone I know that’s getting married. I have to say I’m usually pretty direct with my advice, but fair. From telling them why they should have professional video or needing a wedding planner, to just recounting advice from a happily married man, I’ve touched on a lot.

This time I reached out to you, the wedding and event pros, for tips on how to avoid some common mistakes, as seen from the eyes of a guest (or you guys in the wings). Here’s the article. If you’d like to get a copy of the PDF or to share this on your site, please email me and I’ll send it over. Thanks,

– Alan

5 Things Your Guests Won’t Tell You

By Alan Berg, North America’s Leading Expert on the Business of Weddings & Events

I remember hearing Colin Cowie speak to a group of Wedding Planners in NYC. He said that he tells his couples (who are spending millions on their weddings) that it’s not really their wedding. It’s their first chance, as a married couple, to host a party for their friends and family. That surprised me as we always think of weddings as being for and about the couple. The ceremony is definitely for and about the couple. The party that follows is a celebration of that marriage, with your closest family and friends.

If you accept that perspective, what would you do differently? If you’ve been a guest at one, or more weddings, what would you have liked to have told the newly married couple, but you couldn’t (or you and other guests just told each other, quietly at the table or afterwards)? Here are 5 things that your guests won’t tell you (unless they’re brutally honest or blunt).

1. Your guests won’t thank you for making your Mom, sister, best friend or maid of honor work on your wedding day. They’re not wedding planners, they’re your closest family and friends. Let them mingle, dance and enjoy the day.

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For my opening keynote address at Wedding MBA this year I presented “Free Falling – Jump out of your comfort zone“. Shannon, from Wedding MBA, who is is pushing herself outside her own comfort zone is taking tap-dancing lessons. She felt if was an appropriate topic for me to explore, given my history of starting Tae Kwon Do at 39 (achieving a 2nd degree black belt), skydiving and now studying to be conversationally fluent in Spanish.

You were the shy kid?

Most people who know me wouldn’t believe that I was a relatively shy child. As a matter of fact, I read recently that a lot of professional speakers are introverts offstage (not me, but many). My road to public speaking wasn’t a personal goal, nor did it happen overnight, but I was a willing participant. I began standing in front of audiences by playing piano in the school jazz band and in rock and roll bands as a teenager, then moving to the speaking stage, many years later. Read More

I’m gearing up for this year’s Wedding MBA, and I hope you are, too! As with each conference I always bring at least one, brand new topic. This year I’m bringing THREE! I’ll be doing the opening keynote, a session on Wednesday and then the closing keynote… and that’s where I need your help.

I’m working totally outside the box for the closing keynote and challenging myself to do a presentation using only Fortune Cookie sayings as the slides, and inspiration for the messages.

Have you saved any Fortune Cookie messages because they connected with you in a special way? I need you to take a picture and email them to me. Don’t create one, they have to be actual, little papers that you’ve pulled out of a cookie and saved. My wife and I will sometimes put the date on, because they were relevant to what was happening at that time.

So, please send me any you have now, that have a special meaning. If there’ a short story you’d like to share with it, that’s great. If not, no worries, I’ll look for the inspiration in it. If you get a new one next week, or next month, send that over as well.

Please email them to me at [email protected]

Have you registered for Wedding MBA yet? If not, use this link and save off the lowest posted rate

Malcolm Forbes once said that “the purpose of education is to replace an empty mind with an open one”. I love that quote because no one can give you a desire to learn. No one can make you feel that there’s more and better things of which you’re capable. That’s something that has to come from within.

In this interconnected world, there’s no shortage of educational opportunities. Whether it’s a webinar, an article, a local trade association, a networking event, a local conference or a national conference, if you want to improve your creative skills, or business skills, the opportunities are there. That said, I understand that everyday life gets in the way. Your day to day obligations can often make it hard to find the time for education. I call that your Today List and your To-Do List. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not making or trying to give you any excuses, I’ve written and spoken, a lot, about how you have the time for whatever you want. You just have to prioritize your time. Read More