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Rod Baker - Networking for Introverts - Alan Berg CSP, Wedding Business Solutions PodcastRod Baker – Networking for Introverts

When I had Rod Baker on the podcast to talk about his pivot, we were chatting during a break about how so many DJs, and other wedding and event pros, are introverts. No matter how gregarious they may seem at an event, that could be a façade that’s masking their true, introverted selves. We had a lively discussion that I think you’d like to hear. Enjoy!

About Rod:

Rod Baker is an industry optimist who strives to not only be his best, but to bring out the best in others. He’s the owner of DFWParties, a Dallas/Fort Worth based DJ company… and DFWNeon, a Dallas/Fort Worth based company that designs and delivers wedding LED faux neon signs.

Instagram @djrodiii and @dfwneon

www.dfwparties.com

www.dfwneon.com

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Below is a full transcript. If you have any questions about anything in this, or any of my podcasts, or have a suggestion for a topic or guest, please reach out directly to me at [email protected] or contact me via textuse the short form on this page, or call 732.422.6362

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– Networking, you hear that it’s important, but are you kind of an introvert? Let’s talk about that with a friend of mine. Welcome back to the Wedding Business Solutions podcast. I’m Alan Berg, and I’m so happy to have my friend Rod Baker back on with me. This time, not to talk about his pivot, but to talk about networking for introverts. And this is a topic that you came up with when we were talking the last time. because you’re just a really great networker. But you mentioned something that the industry is filled with introverts.

– I think the creative mind, the people that do these creative things. Whether it’s photographers, for us DJs, you know, make cakes, whatever. I think it fosters, or it attracts a certain type of creative mind where they’re not… Like they’ll do their product, they’ll do their service. And then they’ll have a hard time one-on-one. I know a lot of DJs that are fantastic in front of a crowd, and their very awkward one-on-one.

– Interesting thing about the speaking business, very large percentage of professional speakers are introverts.

– Yeah, not surprising at all.

– And not me, but…

– No, definitely not this one. Not me, but interestingly, I was a kid that would hang on my mother’s leg. I was a shy kid. I was, you know, the wall flower.

– Yeah, I was too. I was just very shy kid.

– And I say, when I broke out of that shell, I broke into pieces, and that was the end of that. But just naturally, you know, you go to a networking event. And you go to a lot of networking events, and I go to a lot of networking events. And you see the people who are out flitting around. And then you’ll see people that’ll come in. Maybe they’ve been there before, maybe not. And they’re just kind of hanging to the side because that’s not natural. Like you said, they’re artists.

– Sure.

– They’re there. So what would you suggest then to these-?

– So to the people that have that kind of-

– The introverts that you’re… First of all, let’s talk about the importance of networking.

– I mean, it’s the lifeblood of a business. You know, you have to keep your name in front of people, and there’s no way on a personal level that matches what networking does. You know, I’m an advertising guy. I used to work for ad agency. I know the value of marketing. There’s all kinds of creative things you can do, but there is absolutely no substitute for, I know this person. I brought you to PWG, and then I brought you into town because of me knowing you personally.

– Right, and there’s a book called, “The Go Giver” by a guy named Bob Burg. No relation, B-U-R-G. And he said, you’ll hear people saying this, if you want to know the root of it, people do business with people they know, like, and trust. That came from the book, “The Go Giver.” If someone is saying, “Hey, do you know a _____?” They’re going to recommend a person that they-

– That comes to their mind.

– So you recently knows that you’re a good person, as well as a good practitioner. And they’re going to refer other people that are top of mind, and that they know, they like, and they trust. because a recommendation is an endorsement. And if I say, “Hey, use Rod for your wedding, and Rod does it.

– You’re putting your reputation on the line.

– Absolutely. Absolutely. So that’s why we refer those people. So this is why networking is important. And a lot of people are like, “Well, I do social, I do this kind of stuff.” It’s not the same as-

– It’s not.

– Breaking bread with someone at a meeting.

– You can’t. You can’t. It’s no substitute. So my exercise, you know, being shy earlier, and not so shy later in life. My exercise when I walk in a room is I kind of scan the room. There’s a humongous temptation to go straight to my favorite vendors. To my favorite friends that I see all the time. But I try not to do that at least at first. So I’ll scan the room. And my goal in my mind is who most awkward feeling person in the room right now? Who feels like they just don’t belong here, or they’re fidgeting or they’re by themselves? I go straight to that person in a non-threatening manner. I introduce who I am, but I ask them what they do, and what their discipline is. And then I shut up and just let them talk.

– I heard something in a book recently, and I’m sorry, I can’t remember exactly the book. But they said, when you’re doing this. We tend to go over and say, you know, “Hi, my name is Rod.” You know, “What’s your name?” Name. “What do you do?” You do this. Ask this next question. And I’ve tried it recently, and it’s really good. So they say that they are a florist. “What do you love most about being a florist?”

– Wow, that’s cool.

– And what happens is people light up because the passion that brought him into the industry. What you do is a florist. That’s not who you are.

– I got you.

– Who you are is this passion.

– That’s better than what I do. because a lot of times I’ll just say, “Oh, that’s cool though. What’s the latest trend, or what’s the, you know.” I’ll ask a leading question, but I like that because you elicit that emotional response.

– I did this actually was one of my clients who is a… They own a few different venues. They have a floral company, catering company, and was one of their people that was a… We are in a hotel that’s still new and under construction.

– It’s new, yeah.

– Clearly not finished yet because we hear the noises behind us. So this young lady works for the catering company, and I said, “You know, what’s your name?” And she said her name. I said, My name’s Alan. Nice to meet you.” I said, “What are you doing?” She said, “I’m a, you know, sales coordinator for catering company.” And again, not a lot of emotion there.

– Sure.

– And I said, “So what do you love about that?” And she just lit up.

– You take him to a place.

– It was the first time I tried it, and she just lit up. And I’m thinking here’s a young lady in her 20s working for a catering company. And she just lit up when I said that, and every time I’ve tried that it gets to the core.

– You know what that does too though. Next time they see you, they associate that emotional, good feeling with you.

– Right, because the… Yeah, I love what you said. The whole idea of people. You want to get them talking about them. In any situation I talk about this in sales. That’s why my most popular book is, “Shut Up and Sell More Weddings and Events.” because you don’t learn anything when you’re talking. So when you get someone to talk about themselves, and when you show that you are interested. You want to be interesting. But you want to be interested because you could be interesting and egotistical. And we know a few people like that in the industry as well.

– No.

– No egos here. But when you’re interested in someone else, they like you better. Therefore going back to know, like, and trust. If they like you better, now they know you, and they’re also going to trust you because you’re showing that you’re interested in them. You’re not just interested in you. The worst thing you can do in a networking event is walk in with a stack of business cards, and start handing them out. You want to someone ask you for your contact information as opposed to you just volunteering that. So going back in your 29 years in the industry, were you always a networker?

– No, I mean, you sort of grow into it, and you get a comfort level of your own, you know? I mean, you know, when you walk into a room, and you don’t know anybody. I mean, I’m going to give you a harsh example. So when I moved away out of this market, and I came back. And when I came back, I didn’t know a lot of people. So I went to a particular networking group, and they had the friend group in a circle. They were all talking in a circle.

– The clique.

– Yes. So I was in a very non-threatening, but from where I was going to come up, and become part of that circle. They wouldn’t allow me the space. It was Red Rover.

– Wow.

– And these are people that I know. These are people that have asked me for business advice in the last 10, 12 years. These are people that have since come back. And I wasn’t bitter about it. I went down to the car after that, and I thought, “What just happened?” And I thought they don’t owe me this, this didn’t owe me this. But boy, what a missed opportunity. Not necessarily with me, but with anybody else. So those are the kind of things that stick out to me. I was like, “Okay, I don’t ever want anybody to feel that way.” And that’s why I do the skim for the room, for the awkward person. because I want them walking down to the car going, “I’m glad I went to that meeting. I’m glad I met somebody.”

– Right, see I’m the person that, you know, if you end up talking to your friends, what you do at some of these events.

– Yeah, of course.

– If I see the odd wheel.

– I Got you. Bring them in.

– I will bring them in. Because I’ve been there. You’ve been there.

– Sure.

– I will do that. When I go to National Speakers Association conferences, there are some meals where you can get assigned seating. So you can say, “I want to sit with Rod. I want to sit at this table.”

– Got you.

– You can get a whole table with people or whatever.

– Sure.

– And every time they reach out to me, and they say, “Alan, you didn’t put in where you wanted to sit?” I said, “Right, I just want you to put me somewhere.”

– Nice.

– Because part of my goal in going to a networking event is to meet at least one person I didn’t know. And not because I’m saying, what can I get from this person? Because what I can get from that person is maybe a friend. What I can get from that person is a connection. Is someone I can refer to someone else. Because one thing that you’ve found in 29 years, and I’ve found in my time in the industry is. We don’t know how many people we know. And then somebody will say, “Hey, do you know?” And like, “As a matter of fact, I do.”

– Yes I do. Yeah.

– Like somebody said to me, “Do you know someone who makes neon signs?” Yes, I absolutely know someone who makes neon signs. And that only happens by being out there, and talking to people. So the first thing is the generosity of saying, “I’m going into a networking event.” You’re walking into net network event and saying, “Who here is feeling like I have felt? Who’s being uncomfortable?” I want to sit at a table with people I don’t know. And ask those questions because some people are like, “That’s interesting.” Now at the speaker conferences, I’m often the guy that people are like, they do that Scooby-Doo. When I say what I do because when you say, you know, what do you speak on? That’s the typical thing of the speaker.

– Sure.

– Say, what’s your name? My name’s Alan. What are you speak on? And they’re expecting leadership, sales, whatever, which I do speak on sales, and some of those things. But I say, I speak on the business of weddings, and they’re always like, “Ooh.”

– Gives you that intro to-

– They’re not expecting that. And then maybe they’ll ask another question there, because if they’re not really listening, they hear weddings. And all of a sudden they think, “Oh, so you do weddings.” And no, I don’t do weddings. That’s not what I do. And they don’t get their head around it, because when you think of a wedding. If you’re not in the industry, you don’t think of business.

– You don’t. Yeah, you don’t.

– You think of a wedding.

– Yeah, 100%. You think you’re a guest at a wedding. You got married. You do it over there. You think of the other part of it. So networking is showing UP. Networking is going with a generosity as opposed to a self assessment.

– You cannot go into thinking about what you’re going to gather. You just can’t.

– Right. You will get more if you just keep your eyes open. And that’s the key. When I go to a speaker conference, I don’t even look at the schedule. Until I’m on my way there.

– Nice.

– Because maybe there’s sessions I want to hear. Maybe there’s not. I’m talking about our national conference it’s got a lot. It’s going to have, you know, 50, 100 sessions. There’s going to be something for me to listen to.

– Sure.

– But what I’m going to learn is I’m going to meet somebody, and I’m going to have people. I have friends that are like some top speakers in the world you’re going to pay, you know, 35, 40, $50,000 to them come speak. And I met them because we went to a jam session. Playing music.

– Nice.

– And people are people.

– They do it comfortable. Yeah.

– I give out books of some of my speaker, friends that I’ve read their books. And I reached out, and I said, “Hey, you know what? I think some of my clients would like these. Can I buy some of your books? Would you sign them for me?”

– Nice.

– Because if I give my book out, that’s kind of self-serving.

– Sure.

– But I give you Shep Hyken’s book who I’ve had on here. Shep’s one leading customer service expert in the world, and it’s signed by Shep.

– Nice.

– It has a different impact.

– Yeah, of course.

– That’s a different impact.

– The very first time I saw you speak. I bought all your books at that session.

– Thank you.

– And yes, you do it. Part of it was the knowledge base. But part of it was, this is an interesting person, and he’s got a lot to say.

– I appreciate that. I had somebody else who pushed me on creating more product because he said, “Alan, if I go hear a speaker, and I like what I hear. I’m going to go to their table, and buy everything because I want more. I want that last step.

– You know, and for me the feedback loop, I love when somebody comes back. I had somebody the other day, she called. She’s reading my book, don’t know this woman. Don’t know her at all. She’s reading my books about, she about two thirds of the way through. And she had a question, and the phone number’s in the book. And she called, and I answered the phone. I think on a Sunday. And typically people are surprised. because I answer my own phone because accessibility is part of my brand.

– Absolutely.

– And I answered the phone, and I talked to her. And one of the things she said is, thank you for making your book just so easy to read.

– Nice.

– She said, this other sales book, and I had to keep a dictionary.

– I think people want to feel like an expert so much when they write sometimes. And it’s like, “You know, speaking in language we want to…” You know, I want to learn something, teach me.

– That’s what it is. And what we’re talking about is teaching and networking, which is the importance of networking. It’s not how many people are there. It’s are just like anything else, are these people that you want to learn from? Are these people that you want to associate with because you are your network? You know, the five people you’re closest to represent who you are as a person, right. Who you are as a business. So it’s all part of that same thing there. So again, introverts. So let’s talk about introverts. So you show up, you go to one of these meetings. And you have your shy bubble on.

– Yeah, so basically what that does is it gives them a chance to shine. In a very non-threatening matter, and good timing on this talk. Because this past Saturday I show up, and the photographer was somebody that I met at a networking function, and we were at the same table at lunch. And she was struggling with talking with people. And by the end of the lunch, we were laughing and we’re joking, and got her feeling comfortable. And I didn’t know that was a photographer for Saturday’s wedding. She walked in, and she instantly lit I up. And was excited that I was there. So, and we had a great evening. It was fun when you get the DJ, photography relationship.

– And it’s also good at the networking event because she comes in if she sees you with the network event, she’s all of a sudden more comfortable.

– Yeah, it made the night easy.

– Her guard at the next networking event is going to be down because you’re there. And it it’s like people say, “Well, you know, my wife doesn’t come with me on a lot of these things.” Actually, most of them, she doesn’t come with me. If my wife knows one person at the event, she’ll be fine. Other than me, because I’m going to be off doing my thing. So she needs one if not, she doesn’t want come. Because again, she’s that shy person. She will light up with people she knows.

– That’s Susie as well. She does the same thing.

– And this is my wife is creative. She’s an artist.

– I mean that’s-

– As is Susie. So this industry is filled with creative people, creative people by their nature. And again, interestingly DJs, because you might think that they’re not. Can be when they’re not doing their thing.

– We’re not on.

– When they’re not on they’re doing that. So best pieces of advice for the introverts of the next networking event?

– Okay, ironically utilize the same technique I do. Try to find another awkward person. And if you feel the sense that you’re helping them, the two of you will feed off each other’s energy. Two introverts could actually end up becoming friends out of the deal. I have a lot of groups of photographers that are all self-proclaimed introverts that are now all friends. That knew that I was the conduit to introducing them all. So yeah, if you’re an introvert, you walk into a room, and you don’t know anybody. Look for the most uncomfortable person in the room. If it isn’t you. Look for the second most uncomfortable person in the room, and then yeah, just what we talked about. Ask them what they do, and ask them why they do it. And ask them what excites them about doing it.

– What do you love about that? That’s a great piece of advice.

– I love that.

– Find that next uncomfortable person. And now the two of you have something to play off of, and then be generous the same way. If it’s two of you invite the next person in, and do that. And so I love that. So thank you for coming back on.

– Yeah, thank you.

– I appreciate it. This is always fun talk, always fun hanging out.

– We always have a good time.

– We do. We do. We’ll do that. And two non introverts anymore, but. Well, two reformed introverts. There we go. There we go. So all of you introverts and extroverts listening. Thanks so much for listening to the podcast, or for watching this, and we’ll catch on the next one.

I’m Alan Berg. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions about this or if you’d like to suggest other topics for “The Wedding Business Solutions Podcast” please let me know. My email is [email protected]. Look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thanks.

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©2022 Wedding Business Solutions LLC & AlanBerg.com

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