Is your networking transactional?
When you go to a networking event or conference, are you deciding who to talk to, or whom to meet based upon what they can do for you, or what you can get from them? Or, are you leaving yourself open to other kinds of value by not having any expectations when you meet new people.
Listen to this new 8-minute episode for my thoughts on networking and value.
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– Is your networking transactional? Listen to this episode, find out what I’m talking about. Hi, it’s Alan Berg. Welcome back to another episode of “The Wedding Business Solutions Podcast.” On this episode, I want to talk about networking and what your intentions are and what your expectations are when you’re networking. I might’ve mentioned this on another episode, but there’s a book by Adam Grant, who’s a pretty famous blogger and he’s at Wharton School of Business in Philadelphia. Love his books, love his stuff. And he has a book called “Give and Take,” which talks about when you’re a giver, you’re giving more than you’re expecting back. When you’re a taker, you’re taking more than you’re giving. And when you’re a matcher, you’re kind of expecting to get back what you give.
How does that apply to your networking? Is it transactional that you’re networking only with people that you expect you can get something back from, or are you networking with people and you’re giving, not expecting to get anything back. But if you’re like me, you get back more than you could’ve ever imagined because your expectations weren’t anything specific. So, you’re open to getting other things. You’re open to getting other value from that. An example for me would be, recently, I went to a conference, the National Speakers Association Conference, and I volunteered to be a buddy for first-timers. Now, these are people that are coming to our national conference called Influence for the first time. And I had a call yesterday with one of my buddies, I’m doing air quotes here, one of my buddies, who when I spoke to her, I found out what she did. She reached out to me and said, “Hey, can we have a call?” I said, “Sure,” and you know, now she’s going to be helping me with the way that I do my PowerPoint and Keynote slides, because that’s something that she does. That’s something that she’s an expert in. And although mine are pretty good, I think they are, and she even said they’re pretty good, they can always be better.
And that’s the key. I didn’t become a buddy to get anything. I didn’t want anything. I didn’t expect anything. And yet, I’m getting some value back. And then my other buddy as well, I think there’s some value there for some of my clients in what he does, which is on sales compensation. So he’s an expert and has written a book about how you compensate your salespeople and how you incentify them. So here I am going to this conference, volunteering to give, and I’m getting back. Now, is that what you do? Is that what people that you know do? Or do you only network with people where you feel you can get something back from them? Or do you know people that only do that? I think, if your mind goes to it like mine, I can certainly think about people like that. They’re only going to network with people that they can get something back from.
There’s another episode that came out before this with Rod Baker on networking for introverts. And I love when I did that with Rod and he said that when he goes to a networking event, he looks for the most uncomfortable person in the room and goes and talks to them. Because a lot of people have come for the first time, they don’t know anybody, they’re not part of the cliques, and he does that. And he said if he’s the most uncomfortable person in the room, he looks for the next most uncomfortable person and talks to them. Again, no expectation. And he told a story about how he met somebody that way who was a photographer. He’s a DJ. And the next week, he went to a wedding and guess what? That was the photographer, just happened to be that person, and now they had this relationship already from having met at the networking event and it makes the events always go better when you’re working with people that you know, right? You show up and see people you know, you smile, you know this is going to be a good night.
So, how do you approach your networking? When you’re thinking about, “Who do I want to reach out to?” “Who do I want to talk to?” “Who do I want to speak to at this next networking event that I go to?”, how do you approach that? Do you look around and you put dollar signs on everybody and say, “This is, you know, oh, I think I can get the most from them?” I’ve always found that by going in without an expectation, I’m open to more ideas. I’m open to more things because value comes in many different ways. Value could be something as simple as friendship. Value could be someone that you can bounce an idea off of. Value could certainly be a referral for business, right? There’s all different kinds of value that you can get from people, but I think by going in without that expectation, I think, for me, it opens up the things where, I might get value that I never even imagined, like when I volunteered, you know, to be the buddy.
So, networking shouldn’t be transactional. It should be relational, which is, how can I meet somebody that I’ve never met before, you know? How can I help this person and then maybe, maybe, if I need help someday, maybe that person will help me as well? And for me, that’s always the best thing. I refer people not because I’m expecting something back. I refer people because they’re the right person for that match. They’re the right one to connect to. I made a match this morning. Somebody said, “You know, I’d like to meet so and so,” and I happened to know that person and I said, “Sure.” I thought it was a good match. I made the email introduction immediately, and the first person came back and said, “Wow, thanks, that was great.” I do that because that’s what I would want done for me. I make the introduction as opposed to, here’s a name, here’s an email, right, here’s a phone number, no. I make the introduction because that’s what I would want done for me. And when someone agrees to introduce me to someone, that’s what I ask for. “Could you please make that introduction?” Because that’s a lot stronger. The door is open there, rather than another email that they might not see or might ignore, you know, who is this person, right? Make that introduction so now they recognize you, and then it opens the door for that other person. Because if you think it’s a good match, that to me is the way you should do it, right? Again, not transactional, not because, “Oh, I’m going to expect something back. I’m keeping score.” I don’t want to keep score. That, for me, is not it.
I get back so much more when I don’t keep score because my expectation is not that you’re going to give me X. My expectation is that I’m going to have a relationship with you because I feel there’s a value to the relationship, not necessarily monetary, but there’s a value there, which I’ll see you at the next networking event, I’ll see you at the next conference or something and “Hey, you know, good to see you again. How’s the family? You know, what’s going on in your life?” that kind of thing. Not, “Can you refer me any business?”
So, I hope this wasn’t too much of a soapbox. But I want you to think about that next time you’re going to a networking event, you know, are you looking at people and putting dollar signs in each of them and deciding who you’re going to talk to? Or are you saying, “Hey, I came to this event. What value can I bring to the event? What value can I bring to these people? And if I do that, it’ll come back to me some way, somehow, but I don’t have to worry about how and when.” If you need something specific, yeah, go ask somebody specific. But don’t go in there with that expectation that this has got to be, I’m going to get more than I’m giving or I’m going to get as much as I’m giving. No, I’m going to give. That’s why I’m here. And then, I’ll get back more eventually. Thanks for listening.
I’m Alan Berg. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions about this or if you’d like to suggest other topics for “The Wedding Business Solutions Podcast” please let me know. My email is [email protected]. Look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thanks.
Listen to this and all episodes on Apple Podcast, YouTube or your favorite app/site:
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- YouTube: www.WeddingBusinessSolutionsPodcast.tv
- Spotify: https://spoti.fi/3sGsuB8
- Stitcher:
- Google Podcast:
- iHeart Radio: https://ihr.fm/31C9Mic
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