Irene Katzias – How vendors can play nice together
Are you fostering trust through effective communication in your professional relationships? Are you prioritizing helping others over personal gain when networking? In this episode, we dive into the essentials of communication, respect, and aiding fellow vendors to create lasting bonds and smooth events. We’ll explore practical ways to enhance your professional networks through proactive collaboration and kindness, reflecting on real-life anecdotes that underscore the impact of these values.
Listen to this new episode for insights on building stronger, more respectful professional relationships by focusing on clear communication and a giving mentality.
About Irene:
Irene Katzias is the owner of Irene + Co Events, an award-winning wedding planning and design company known for crafting bespoke, high-end weddings across the U.S. With over a decade of experience, Irene’s work has been featured on The Knot, Utah Bride and Groom Magazine, and Zion Brides. A TEDx speaker and host of the Peak Perfection podcast on Spotify, Irene brings her signature blend of creativity, confidence, and approachability to every event, helping couples tell their unique love stories—one detail at a time.
Contact: Website: www.irenecoevents.com
Email: [email protected]
Instagram: @irenecoevents
Episode Summary:
In this episode of “Wedding Business Solutions,” I sit down with Irene Katzias from Irene and Co Events to dive into the importance of communication and respect in professional networking. We discuss how offering help rather than seeking personal gain builds trust and strong relationships. Irene shares her team’s approach of prioritizing teamwork, being the first to arrive and last to leave, and tackling every task with a collective spirit. We also address common vendor complaints, emphasizing the need for clear communication and collaboration. Irene’s closing words, “Just be kind. You’ll be fine,” perfectly capture the essence of our conversation.
If you have any questions about anything in this, or any of my podcasts, or have a suggestion for a topic or guest, please reach out directly to me at [email protected] or visit my website Podcast.AlanBerg.com
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View the full transcript on Alan’s site: https://alanberg.com/blog/
So how can wedding and event vendors play nicer together? Listen to this episode and find out. Hi, it’s Alan Berg. Welcome back to another episode of the Wedding Business Solutions podcast. I am so excited to have Irene Katzias on from Irene and co events to talk about how you guys can play nicer together. Irene, how you doing?
I’m great. Thanks for having me.
Well, thanks for reaching out to me. We have some mutual friends. Alan Katz. Shout out to Alan Katz and Alex. And this is a topic that comes up a lot on social media, usually not in a good way. Right? Like, you see it and I see it. Somebody’s complaining about what happened at the wedding last night, and somebody did something or didn’t do something or had to save somebody else from something or things like that. And being a planner, you are certainly on the ground there, boots on the ground, doing this a lot more.
And you’ve been doing this for about a good ten years or more now, right?
Ten years, yeah. I can’t believe it.
Yeah. Crazy how time flies. I left the knot in 2011. It sounds like it’s a couple of years ago, and it’s 13 years ago. It’s like, what? How did that happen? So let’s talk about this together. Not everybody has a planner, right? Unfortunately. And I say unfortunately because I told you, my son’s getting married. And actually, by the time this comes out, we’ll have gotten married.
Hey, congrats, guys. And the first thing I did is got them a planner. Kevin. Dennis, shout out to Kevin, if you’re listening to this, Kevin’s fantastic. And I said, you don’t know what you don’t know. I know somebody who knows everybody and everything in your area, so you need somebody. And that’s, to me, the value of a planner. Right.
What else would you say to people who are on the fence and going, you know, you don’t think you want a planner because. But you should. Because, yeah.
I mean, I hear it all the time. It becomes a factor of budget, a factor of, I want to do everything myself. I’m very creative. I can do it. I mean, I’ve heard it all. But you. You said it. You don’t know what you don’t know.
And with connections that planners have and just the ability to have your back on the day of, especially when things go wrong, I mean, we’ve solved countless problems at the 11th hour, and the couple has no idea about it. And that wouldn’t have happened if the planner wasn’t there. So, I mean, it’s definitely a peace of mind at a minimum to be able to enjoy your day.
So let’s talk about this from a couple of sides. I often hear vendors complaining about the planner.
Yeah.
What are some of the things that you hear or that you’ve experienced where they’re complaining about the planner? Where does that come from?
Yeah, I think it stems directly from communication. I think planners who are very much overbearing or wanting to have everything funneled through them is actually going to hurt you in the long run because you’re cutting off your feet. You’re, you’re your team. Who is there to support you? Your dj, your band, your florist. If they’re not involved in the communication from the beginning, then they’re just going to feel like they’re following orders. And it kind of builds small resentment. And as we lead up to the day and then we get to the big day and we’re already on a wrong foot, we already not liking the communications. We don’t wanna do it this way just because you say it like, you need to have a very collaborative effort from the beginning if you want it to come off well at the end.
Now there are times that, like, myself included, have to step in at some point and say, hey, that’s not what the couple requested. We need to do it this way. But that’s a very, like, tangible moment that we know it has to happen. It’s not something of like our go to that we’re going to have going into a conversation.
So here’s a question for you. Maybe it’s controversial, people listening. Who owns the timeline?
I don’t think any one vendor owns the timeline. I think the planner’s job is to organize it and go through everyone’s contracts, have the conversations with everyone, and create something that benefits the couple and their request and their priorities, but adheres to what has been signed and deposited for by the couple. But it’s not something of like, hey, here’s the timeline. This is what we’re doing. Absolutely not. It needs to be sent in advance. You need to have one on one conversations with everyone saying, hey, is this an okay timeline? Do you want to move it back? Do you want to move it forward? And having that flexibility to be able to allow their input is, I mean, I think our key to success, honestly, in the past ten years is having that communication.
So we have people that will use a planner. Going to happen a few different ways. You’ll have people use a planner right from the get go. And there’s a really good chance that the vendors that are brought into that wedding were brought in through that planner, through recommendations, through their knowing who the best people are and who’s the right fit for this couple and all that stuff. But then you also have the horrible phrase day of planning, which is not day of planning. Wedding day management, wedding day orchestration, all these wonderful things that describe it so much better. Four weeks, six weeks, eight weeks, depending upon and what that company does. And you didn’t choose that entertainment.
You didn’t choose that flourish. You didn’t choose that cake baker, that caterer, that venue, that whatever. And I wouldn’t, I would think there’d be more friction there because, you know, your people and your people are going to work better with you. So what would you say to the planner who then gets hired, you know, to come in six, eight weeks before the wedding, four weeks, whatever the number is, who doesn’t, didn’t bring those people in and may not know those people. What do you say to that planner? What should they do?
Lead with kindness. You are the last person brought on, unfortunately. So you don’t get to put your big, heavy foot down and say, this is what we’re doing. I mean, you need to build a relationship quickly with everyone else on that team. Make sure that they know that you’re on their side and you’re here to help. We’ve been hired on. We understand this is already happening. Can you please catch me up on how your experience has been and how we’re moving forward on this day? There’s gonna be a lot of times in those relationships that I have let specifically, like photographers or caterers, really lead that timeline creation because they already have a system in place.
They’ve already been working on this for months. With a couple, there are certain things I’m not going to be able to change, and as long as those expectations are clear to the couple, we can all have a great communication and a great flow on those things. But you’ll definitely see me if I’m brought out into those situations. There’s lots of Starbucks cards gifted the morning of and little baskets of goodies of like, hey, I know it’s a long day. Do you want to come grab some things? We have a bunch of stuff in the back for everybody, so we’re really trying to get on everyone’s good side to make them understand we really are here to support everybody. And it goes way past words at that point. You have to show them with your actions.
Yeah, you said it in the beginning, and coming into this, the whole keyword is communication. I saw one the other day, it was a DJ showing a picture of where they were put, which was not where they were supposed to be on the floor plan. And the oldest people at the wedding were right in front of the DJ.
Oh, no.
And the DJ said, I told them ahead of time, you know, this is where I need to be, wherever that else was. And when he got there, they said, you’re gonna be there right now. Who did that? The question I always wonder is, is the person who’s telling him that, were they even involved in the timeline? Were they even involved in any discussions? Or is it somebody just. So what would you say to that Djde? Okay, the DJ shows up and is told, you’re going to be here. The dance floor is not in front of the DJ. The dance floor is past the old people, past the less old people to the dance floor. And sure, they could put the speakers by the dance floor potentially, if there’s not a trip hazard or whatever, but what would you say to the DJ? What should they do at that point?
I think you have every right to stick up for yourself. You were brought on with a specific communication, a specific timeline, and you were given a layout. So there has been communication priority. So if you are coming and there is something different happening, and there’s no communication as to why or what’s going on, then that’s not necessarily fair to you. So you have every right to speak up and say, hey, that wasn’t in the original timeline or in the original layout. Can you please explain to me why that change is happening? I just wanna make sure I’m not making anyone uncomfortable. Who’s eating dinner and shooting sound over people, that’s always really hard, that kind of communication. You have every right to say, and also, if that planner or venue coordinator, however that worked out on that day, didn’t approach it and say, hey, this is the problem, we need to flex a little bit together.
Here are your two options of what you can do. That should have been the conversation, not just stick you in a corner and walk away.
Right now, I wasn’t involved in the initial discussion, so the question is, did the DJ tell the people ahead of time, I need to be here? And then somebody else did the floor plan and said, you’re going to be there, which sounds like what might have happened in that particular case. And I also know there’s a tenuous balance between the DJ wanting to work at that venue again and not making too much of a stink and giving the couple the best, you know, best results. I mean, that’s ultimately the goal for everybody, right? We all should be rowing in the same direction, right? Trying to give people the best results, and they’re not going to get the best results that way, but it’s easier for somebody else. And that whole thing that you said about somebody being overbearing, there’s a. There’s a few egos in our business. Let’s just, let’s just say it. There’s a few egos in our business, of course, and I’m sure in every business and in the world. And I would also think that a large percentage of the time, everything goes fine.
And I might say everything goes fine. I don’t mean it’s perfect because your job and everybody else’s job there is to make all the little problems disappear. So nobody ever knew they happened, but the event is going to go off great, the wedding’s going to go off great, and nobody’s going to know about the problems that happen then nobody’s mad at everybody, anybody. At the end. Would you say that most of the time that’s what happens?
I’ll say, like 90% of the time, for sure, yeah.
Right. So, but we remember the others, right? That’s what we remember. We remember the person that left their truck in the loading dock and wouldn’t move it because they were, you know, they didn’t think about anybody else. We remember this situation where you told me, you know, nobody puts DJ in the corner, right? You put the DJ over there when they should have been right by the dance floor or those other things there. So what would you say are the most common things that you see with vendors not playing nice together?
Yeah, I think it’s definitely timing of loading in, especially at specific venues that may only have one or two loading docks. If we’re making a timeline and we’re communicating in advance, so everyone can actually get their vehicle as close as possible, have an easy load in process, and then go park and deal with it later. That’s always a very big point with some of the venues that we work at regularly, that we need to be making sure that that communication is very clear. I would also say in terms of running the timeline, the timing of introduction, first dance and toast, for some reason, these three things are always a very contingent. Catering wants one thing, dj wants another thing, photographer wants another thing. But I need to get my vendor meal. I feel like everything in that hour just is very hard and wants people want to have a certain expectation. So really communicating, especially that time, hey, I’m going to build in the timeline, exactly when the vendor meals are going to happen, when the toasts are going to happen, and when the first dance is going to happen.
And I’ve made these decisions based off of catering’s feedback and DJ’s feedback and the photographer’s feedback. So everyone can actually have a normal day at work with normal hours and an actual meal break and not feel like they’re missing something or totally on their toes of like, did someone start? Did someone not start? Did someone start? Did someone not start? That’s horrible. On a photographer. So really, again, I mean, it really goes back to communication early and often the day of is not the time to communicate. The day of is to manage emotions, manage relationships, manage people. And if you don’t understand that as a planner going into it, you’ve already shot yourself in the foot on the morning of the wedding day.
Okay, so a couple of things I want to come back to there, but the first one is vendor meal. Now, I don’t work weddings, I don’t work events. Right. That’s not where I am there. I cannot fathom the idea that a vendor doesn’t automatically get a meal when you expect them to be there for 8 hours, 10 hours, 12 hours. And the idea that the couple who’s getting charged for that is the caterer just going to give them the meal they’re going to charge the couple. Did they charge full price? Half price? I actually saw a negative review. This was crazy.
A negative review by a photographer of a venue because they didn’t get the filet mignon meal. They actually posted a negative review. I mean, first of all, you shouldn’t be complaining anyway if you got a meal. But second of all, you’re complaining that you didn’t get filet mignon, right?
Well, there’s a sense of, like, clear expectations. I mean, especially photographers, and I would say DJ sometimes, but photographers, especially at a certain caliber, they have clear expectations of what they’re coming in there in their wedding day up. There’s even some that have it in their contracts. I require this type of meal. And that’s okay. They’re allowed to have those requests. But if you’re not communicating that early saying, hey, this is the timeline, do you have any allergies? Do you have any preferences? I see in your contract you require a hot meal, not a box meal. I just want to let you know, this is what the situation is.
This is what the caterer is offering. Is that okay with you? That’s always in our final details call. Because if that’s not okay. We need to be able to adhere to the contract that was signed. And I mean, we’re not a union. We’re not OSHA, we’re not going to come down on you. But there are those kinds of expectations for a reasonable workplace for a reason. And being in our industry, we are so personal, high stakes, a lot of pressure a lot of times.
And there are certain comforts of the day that we need in order to be like, it’s okay, I’m going to get my meal. It’s going to be 1 hour from now. I know it’s already there. Irene’s has it in the warmer. We’re good to go. Those kind of things. Let them do their job much more easily and just like, more confidently.
So when is the best time? If you’re setting the timeline or suggesting the timeline, when is the best time.
For people to eat before the guests? So if the guests are getting served, I want the vendor’s meal already to be in the back vendor room ready for them. So that way, while catering is doing everything on the floor and taking care of the guests, we can all take turns and take, depending on what the situation is. Hey, this is just background music. DJ, I need you to go and leave your assistant and then swap when you guys are done. Same thing with photography, you’re not photographing people eating. No one wants those photos of food going into the mouth. So this is the only time that they really have to stop and eat before toast and first dance and we get on with the evening. So that’s a really key point as well.
And if I know it’s going to be a super long day, you better believe I’ve already catered lunch for them to make sure that they can make it to that meal without being super hangry and making sure they can do their best work. Because I want the photos after too, of course.
And again, nobody wants those pictures when people are reading. But you don’t always have two shooters. You don’t always have a DJ and an assistant. Right. So, but again, the DJ can put on a playlist and go and eat. How much time do you generally allocate for that?
Usually about 30 to 45 minutes.
Okay. Right. And again, people are eating, people are being served. It’s going to take 15 to 20 minutes to serve everybody anyway. And that’s just putting the guest food on the plate, not and buffet. You know, it could be even longer. Depends if the caterer is good or not, right?
For sure. And this is why we have, like, preferred caterers. And preferred planning vendors because we know those people who are going to take care of us as well as we’re going to take care of them. So it’s a very like 50 50 relationship.
Yeah, yeah. One of the things with our son’s wedding is it’s a casual affair for 50, 55 people and they got a taco truck. I said, you can’t serve from a taco truck. He said, no, they’re going to prepare. They’re going to be prepared to just be handing them out. They’re not going to be making them one at a time when people come up to the truck. I said, okay, good, as long as you understand that. But 50, 60 people just aren’t going to stand in line waiting for their taco, right.
Go up and, but again, they did understand that. I did talk to them about some other things that they might have known. Might not have known. Just making sure, you know that they have things in there because let’s face it, first time getting married, they don’t know what they don’t know.
Right. Hopefully it’s your first and last time. So hopefully we can guide you in that direction of like, this is the great guest experience. This is a good vendor experience. This is a good experience for you.
Right. And this is where, let’s go back to the vendor meals for a second. I have people that say, well, the couple didn’t pay for the meal. If I was the caterer, id be feeding them anyway. Now, I might not be feeding them the same exact plate, right? I may or may not, but if the couple is not going to pay, im still going to feed them because to me, this is my mind, I, as the caterer, want to be friends with all of these vendors because I want them to talk nice about it and say, hey, I shot this wedding at, I played this as a band or a DJ, this wedding at, and boy, they were great. They even fed us and whatever. And I do hear those stories and then I hear the other ones with nothing, which is why I, again, not doing events. But I always have power bars and things in my briefcase.
And me, it’s for travel, right? Flight delays. I’ve had four hour flight delays and I’m the only one eating on the plane because I got a bag full of stuff. So I guess maybe it comes from being a dad, you know, even my kids are grown, but always have food.
With you, always giant lunchbox.
Always have. I remember years ago, I was, when I was with the knot, we were traveling out to, I think Las Vegas for event and there were about six of us on the plane, and I brought this giant bag of candy and snacks and stuff. And I’m walking around the plane giving to my people, and the people sitting next to my people are looking like, with puppy dog guys. I’m like, yeah, you can reach into. Sure, go ahead. You know, have a, have a licorice, have something over. All right, so where do the problems come in? Right? Where do the problems come in here? Because again, somebody’s going to go online, is going to complain about something. The DJ’s.
The most common thing I see from the DJ’s is either they put me in the wrong place, right. This is just not the place that I need to be to make this event great, or the timeline was set. Everybody’s big, given the timeline, and somebody messes up the timeline and then the communication doesn’t happen on the event to say, hey, that’s not going to happen at that time. So how does that happen? Where does that mostly come from?
I just don’t know why people are leaving DJ’s out. I just don’t. I don’t understand, like, from the beginning, why are we not communicating with them the most? They are the ones with the mic. They are the ones guiding this whole event, really, for the guest with the sound. People are following sound from the ceremony on a lawn, all the way inside. They’re following the music to where we need to go directionally. So the fact that they’re not being included in communication is really sad. A lot of the times I can’t speak for everyone, but I know for us, we do have a designated staff member that is point person for the DJ specifically.
So we may not all be in the same section together. We may be in different areas, coordinating a flip or moving florals or whatever it might be. It’s a busy time, but there is always someone within the vicinity of the DJ, kind of just overseeing, managing and communicating. Hey, this is taking 15 minutes longer. We need to push it back a little bit or, hey, can we add this toast in? Here’s a name. Do you know how to pronounce it? Should I get someone to figure out how to pronounce it? We’re not just throwing things to them on a piece of paper and say, great, we’re doing this now. It’s not fair to them. It doesn’t really benefit your guest in any way.
I mean, in my opinion, besides the catering, because catering and having warm food and hot food is super important. I think the DJ is a very important person to be keying into your timeline, you need a really good experience that day, and they’re going to give it to you. The photographer is going to give you the satisfaction after that day, but that day, you really need to keep them in the loop from the beginning. And having them after fact, even on the timeline, is just not fair. Getting the request of the music. Hey, here’s the first dance song. Hope you learn it. Hope you have it.
Thanks, bye. Is just absolutely not acceptable.
Well, no, they’re getting that stuff. What I’m talking about is that’s all been done. The DJ’s had the communication. They have the first dance, they have the announcements, maybe a grand entrance, all those things. But then the couple’s off taking pictures, right? And the timeline says we’re supposed to be doing x, but the couples know where to be found because they’re off taking pictures, right? Because the photographer decided, oh, the light is perfect outside. Look, let’s go out and let’s go do this. The photographer is not going to run to the DJ and say, hey, we’re going to take some more pictures. They just do it.
And then everybody’s like, well, where’s the couple? Like, what’s going on?
That photographer better have said something to us, or as they were your planner, for sure, to make sure we knew where they were. But this is where, like, a bridal attendant is super important as well, so that we always have eyes on a couple. We always have eyes on the DJ, so we can make sure that all of that’s communicated. So again, I think it comes down to communication and also staffing. I mean, a solo planner isn’t a good idea. I mean, we have a team for a reason, so we can make sure we’re seeing multiple aspects of the day and communicating that effectively. Because I don’t ever want someone to feel like they’re not on the same page or they don’t know what’s going on, because then they just started putting their hands up and they’re like, it’s your show, whatever you want. That sounds great.
And that’s not a really great attitude.
No. But again, we understand where it’s coming from. Yeah, a lot. So a lot of this would be solved if people would just hire planners.
Very true. Yes.
Right. But not just planners, professional planners. Because the beauty and the bane of the wedding industry and the event industry is that the barrier to entry is low. So if you got married last year and you thought you did a good job, and everybody said it was a great wedding, and you decided you’re going to do this for a living. You just called yourself a wedding planner and you’re a wedding planner. There’s nobody to tell you that they’re not because there’s no license required. There’s no specific training required. I say required.
I’m not saying recommended, but there’s nothing required. It’s no different than speaking, right? Somebody wants to get on stage and speak. People put on people on stage all the time. I’m attending four speaker conferences this year, spending five figures on my conferences in travel, despite the acronyms, after my name and despite the accolades that I have, because I’m always trying to be better, I’m always investing in my education. We know that wedding planning is one of those things that a lot of people come in because, oh, I’ve always helped everybody plan parties. I’ve always helped people do that. And a wedding is different than the birthday party. A wedding is different than the graduation party you did in your backyard for your son, your daughter, or whatever.
Just like photographing a wedding is different than being a great photographer. You have to be able to anticipate what’s going to happen, know what’s going to happen. The same thing with bands and DJ’s. I was sitting with a DJ one time and he got an inquiry that said, how much is your five hour package? And he just rolled his eyes, says, d dad, because you don’t spend 5 hours. He goes, no, no. I said, how many hours do you spend? And it was like 30, 35 hours. And I said, okay, Ron, why don’t you write him back and say, thanks so much for inquiring. We’d love to make your wedding amazing for you.
I don’t have a five hour package, but I would love to tell you about the 30 to 35 hours I’m going to invest to make sure that that day is the best it can be. And just and the same with a planner. A lot of what you do is out of sight on the day, but most of it’s out of sight before the day. All those things you did ahead of time. So I don’t think there’s many couples listening, but if you are, get a planner. You need a planner, you need a videographer. You’ll regret if you don’t. I’m just putting my two cent out there, and my son has a planner and a videographer.
I’m not a hypocrite. He has both of those and a.
Good one, which is great and a good one.
And with the videographer, and they were a little bit on the fence. And I said, I will pay for it. You’re going to have it. Right. So I don’t, he hasn’t sent me the bill yet, but he’s going to have one. We’ll see what happens. So give some final words here. What is not to the planners, right? Because we already just talked about the planners.
Get your training and stuff like that. Let’s talk to everybody else here. What is the advice you would give to them? You’re a venue and, you know, did the venues generally find out who the vendors are or did they just show up?
No, definitely. They’re, I mean, from our perspective, they know who the vendors are in advance. There’s a full contact sheet. And we work with a lot of venues who require, like, cois and insurance and things like that. So there is a list of vendors who are coming in, who have been vetted, who will respect the property and the regulations of the property.
Okay. So they know. Right. So I would say if you’re a wedding professional or event professional and you’ve not been to that venue before, you need to do a site visit. I mean, that’s just, that’s like a minimum requirement, I would think is you need to do a site visit. But I would also have communication with that venue and say, hey, listen, I’m coming there for the first time. Tell me, what have other people done that’s really ticked you off? Right? Because I don’t want to do, I don’t want to do that to you. I think this is, again, going back to the communication, and I think you’ll be respected by that more.
But also the person you’re talking to may or may not be there that day, and then you didn’t have that communication. It’s kind of like the venues that complain that the bridal party brought in outside alcohol. But you told the couple, you didn’t tell the bridal party, right? So they didn’t hear that part of it. How does that communication happen? What are some other things? Some other, you know, how do we avoid? How do we go from 90% of it going great without everybody fighting to 98% for sure?
I think we definitely invest, and I encourage my preferred vendors, which a lot of them do, they invest in kind of valuing that relationship more than the job. So whether it’s kind of buttering up with like some Starbucks gift cards or a really cool, like, gift basic on your first visit there, you need to start that relationship off on a good foot and in a giving mentality. We’re not going into this venue. We’re not going to talk to this photographer with what I can get out of the relationship. You need to give first at all cost. And that’s just going to start you off on the right foot of like, hey, I have you in mind as well. This is not just a one sided conversation. And then you’ll be able to ask those questions, hey, what is the DPI for the day? What is for people, the decibel units for DJ’s? If you don’t know what that is, what is our regulation for our sound ordinance in the area we’re in? All of these questions are really important to ask, but going in with a giving mentality, you’ll be able to ask those questions and receive nicer answers and a better attitude and probably more timely because they know that you’re invested in them as well.
So I really encourage people to kind of not have an attitude of what can I get out of them? What can I get out of them? I want to get these photos. I want to be on the preferred vendor list. Like, that’s not your goal. Your goal is to have a really good relationship and from there everything will fall into place. If you’re just a good person upfront and don’t be afraid to stick up for yourself if there’s something going wrong and you really are uncomfortable and it’s just not what was expected, clearly expected, or what you wanted to happen, you need to have a conversation in a friendly attitude, in a friendly way, but don’t be afraid to do it. Yeah.
And the problem comes in when somebody does take that attitude that, you know, this is my timeline, this is my place, this is whatever, and you’re just going to do this, you. Well, again, you and I say that and all the professionals that I know do that, but then you hear the stories about someone who is trying to assert some authority, probably that they don’t deserve, that they probably haven’t earned yet, but they feel, you know, my card says this or you’re at my venue, therefore you’re doing this not understanding the implications of where it happens to every, you know, what happens with everybody else because there’s a domino effect, right? If the photographer’s off taking pictures and we’re waiting for them because it’s time to bring the cake out or whatever, the videographer standing there, everybody’s like, what do we do now? Like, what do we do well, and like you said, the DJ, if the DJ just stops playing, everybody will notice.
It’S over, the day’s over.
If the band stops playing, everybody will notice. So, you know, and all the bands and DJ’s that I know they will just keep going until, you know. But really it comes back to this. We could have, we could have done this in 30 seconds and just said, it comes down to communication, folks. But it’s also respect. I like what you just said about this, because if you’re going to network, right. I had a guy on my podcast, Bob Berg, b U r G, wrote a book called the Go giver and a few other books there. And he says in his book, all things remaining equal, people refer people they know they like and they trust.
Well, if you go to a networking event trying to get business from everybody, they’re not going to like you or trust you if you go there. How can I help you? That’s the thing. So when you talk about the truck and the loading dock, if you get there early, load or unload, park your truck away, get yourself set up, and then say, hey, does anybody need a hand right now? You’re helping people there. Because I’ve done this as a speaker, I’ve moved tables, I’ve set things up. I was doing a speaking after a lunch thing, and they had done a tabletop competition at this event, right? So it was right before lunch. So they used the banquet rounds there, and they, they brought in linens and they brought in dishes, dishware and glassware and stuff like that. Well, now they had to take everything and put it back into the crates and put it right before we set up for lunch. The real way now.
And I walk in and I start taking plates and putting them into things, they’re like, alan, you don’t have to do that. I said, yeah, I know, I know.
Yeah. I think our team, from the beginning, we have a very good mentality of, we’re the first in, we’re the last out, and nothing is beneath you. You go get the broom. Don’t ask the caterer to clean up something that you have full well time to do and it’s in front of you. Right. Nothing is beneath you in that point. If you, and if you have that mentality, I promise you things will go a long way going forward in that night and going forward just in any other event that you want to book later on, right.
And then the next time you show up in an event and there’s that person who helped you or you helped, that relationship is that much stronger. So, same thing with networking events. You walk in there with the attitude, how can I help you? What can I do for you not, what can you do for me? And you’ll find that people will want to give. You, will want to help you when you weren’t the one always taking, taking, taking. If you haven’t read Adam Grant’s book give and take, read Adam Grant, you should read give and take so we could go on forever about this. And I didn’t want it to be a bitch session. And I don’t. I don’t think it was because everybody every.
I would say most people listening to this are the good players already anyway. I would really think so. And the ones that are not. Sometimes, you know, if something didn’t go right, sometimes you just have to look back and look in the mirror and say, could I have done something different? Could I have done something to make this go better? Right? Because I think the more we take not just authority, but responsibility, the better everything will be. So, Irene, thank you so much for joining me. I really appreciate it. The show notes I’ll have how to contact you, how to follow you on social. I’m sure you have just beautiful stuff there to show about these weddings that.
That you’re doing. And any last words for our listeners?
Just be kind. You’ll be fine.
Love it. Love it. Thanks so much, everybody listening. Listen to the next episode.
Bye.
I’m Alan Berg. Thanks for listening. If you have any questions about this or if you’d like to suggest other topics for “The Wedding Business Solutions Podcast” please let me know. My email is [email protected] or you can text, use the short form on this page, or call +1.732.422.6362, international 001 732 422 6362. I look forward to seeing you on the next episode. Thanks.
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