Are you the driver or a passenger?
No matter your position in your company, or in life, there are times when you’re in charge and times you’re not. Which do you prefer? Can you handle it when it’s the other? I’m OK when I’m not driving… but I need to know that someone’s driving and we’re heading in the right direction. Of course I mean “driving” metaphorically, but if you always have to be in charge, it’s hard to play nice with others.
Listen to this new, 9-minute episode for some perspective on when it’s OK to be a little of both.
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– Are you the driver or the passenger? Listen to this episode, see where I’m going with this one.
Hi, it’s Alan Berg. Welcome back to another episode of the Wedding Business Solutions podcast. I was thinking about this the other day, that there are times, that even if you are the owner of a company, or even if you are the manager or a boss of other people, you have people that report to you, there are times when you’re the driver, there are times when you’re the passenger. And the question is, “How okay are you with that?”
There are some people that just can’t be a passenger. They always have to be feeling like they’re in control, feeling like they’re running the show. I’m one of those people that I’m okay if I’m not leading as long as someone else is. And what I mean by that is I’ve been in situations where I have not been the leader of that particular group or that activity or whatever it is but when there’s a lack of leadership, when there’s, people are just kind of not knowing what direction to do or whatever, I can’t stand that.
Some of you might might agree with me that that’s the way you are as well but I can’t stand that and I have to jump in and I have to lead. It’s not that I’m trying to take control, it’s I’m trying to give us direction when there is none. An example, I was doing Habitat for Humanity. I think it was the first time that I did it. And we were a large group. It was a group of us from The Knot. We were doing this in Omaha, and we were a very large group, probably 20 or 25 people or something, which they say is normally an inefficient group because there’s so many of us. And it’s exactly what happened when we started.
There were too many people waiting for something to do, waiting for a tool to use or waiting for a direction on what to do next. And I realized that we are going to be there all day because and people are going to get bored ’cause they didn’t come there to stand around. They came there to build, they came there to help. And I stepped in and said, “Okay, why don’t we do it this way and break into smaller groups, and this way, everybody’s working as little teams and whatever.” And we actually got done early. So that was one example where again, I wasn’t in charge.
I’ve had this with the team building exercises where it’s not my company. I’m a consultant to a company. They invite me to come to their team building and I get on a team and I don’t, I’m not trying to lead. I’m just trying to be somebody that’s on this team, doing stuff. And I’ve had it where they’re just, nobody is giving direction. I’m like, well, we have to get something done here. And I kind of have to step in. And it’s not that I’m trying to be the leader, it’s that nobody else is. Nobody else is seeing that there’s a lack of direction and doing that.
But I’m also okay when somebody else is leading by taking good direction and by being a good helper, hands, brains, whatever it is that is needed for that particular thing. So there are times when you’re the driver and there are times when you’re the passenger. And if you’re confident in who the driver is, then you’re okay being a passenger. If you’re not, then it’s maybe a problem that you’re in the wrong vehicle. I’m using this as a metaphor, of course, not physically, although I guess that could be true. You know, if you’re a passenger in a car and you don’t feel the driver is driving safely, you want to get out of the car.
And it’s kind of the same thing in business and life. If whoever is leading, you’re not confident in their abilities, you think they’re taking in the wrong direction. Yeah. Do you have to become the driver? Or is it okay to just get off the bus or get off, get out the car or get out of that company or get out that situation? So this is really just about how okay are you with not being the leader? And I think most of us, if not all of us, have been an employee at one point, even if we’re the employer at this time. And I remember one of the best compliments I ever got was from an employer, many, many, many me, many years ago, 30 plus years ago. And he said, “You’re the kind of person that’s never going to get fired.” And he was almost right. I did get downsized once but it wasn’t for poor performance. That’s what he was saying is, I just, I don’t, won’t do poor performance.
That was a different situation. That was a, activist investors taking position at a company and had a, you know, big massive layoff over there, that’s different than, you know, you just did a poor job and you got fired. That’s something maybe instilled in me. My dad always told me, you know, if you take a job, do it to the best of your ability. If you don’t like the job, don’t do a bad job. Leave. Right? Never do a poor job. If you don’t like the situation, leave. And that’s what I did.
That’s actually how I got into the wedding and event industry. Some of you might have heard the story or parts of it, where I was in a job, I was making really good money, but I hated it. I hated going to work every day. I felt no integrity in what I was doing. And I jumped into a new industry, the wedding and event industry, something I knew nothing about. I went from inside sales to outside sales, something I had never done. My wife was pregnant, I was on commission only and I jumped in and I had, even though I was working for someone, my best friend had bought the franchise of the magazines. I had to jump in and be my own driver. I had to do that.
But then I got to a point where I then managed other people. And then I got to a point where I managed people that managed people. And that’s a different situation. Again, as a driver and passenger, when you’re managing people that are managing people, you have to let those people do the managing because otherwise, they have no respect from their people that report to them. And you’re undermining their authority, their ability to get their job done as well.
So that’s a situation where you’re not necessarily a passenger, but you do have to step back and say, “I’m not driving that. I’m, that person reports to me but they have people that report to them.” And sometimes there’s a layer or more below that as well. So how okay are you when you’re not the driver, does it make you crazy? Are you okay with it? If you are managing people and you have to take your hands off the wheel and let them drive, you have to give them, not just responsibility, but you have to give them authority to get it done. Otherwise you’re setting them up for failure.
And that’s a management and a leadership thing. That’s the difference between management and leadership. You do have to manage processes and things but I think you lead people and let them manage the processes. So again, that’s sometimes you have to take your hands off the wheel and let somebody else drive. And are you okay with that? A lot of people who are solopreneurs, who became people that then had to hire people, many of you listening, that’s you. Are you okay letting go? Are you okay letting go and letting somebody else do it? And maybe they won’t do it the way that you would do it but can they get it done?
If I haven’t already mentioned this, there’s a book called “Why Work Sucks.” It’s actually written by people that used to work for the corporate offices of Best Buy and how they changed from being, you have to be here at these certain hours to this is the result that I want you to bring, bring it. And if it takes you less time, great. And if you do it in off hours, it’s fine as long as it’s getting done. Instead of managing someone’s time, they’re responsible to you for the results that you hired them for. It doesn’t work in every situation. You know, if you have regular office hours, somebody has to be there, but in certain types of things, and sales is one of those, where there might be flexibility in the time as long as it gets done what you need to get done.
So again, sometimes again, you’re taking your hands off the wheel and you’re saying, “You know what? I’m not necessarily a passenger here but I might not be in the car right now. I might let somebody else drive and let them have their passengers and as long as we’re getting where we’re supposed to be going, that might be okay.” So again, “Why Work Sucks,” I forget the authors on that one but I’m sure you can find it. And they talk about a ROWE, R-O-W-E, results only work environment. And that’s where I know I did that when I was a regional sales director and I was a VP of sales. I was, take my hands off the wheel and say, “Listen, this is what we need to get done but I’m not going to tell you you have to take this route. I’m just going to tell you where we’re trying to get to, get us there. And then you find the best way that works for you.”
So this kind of started out maybe as one thing and shifted a little bit into the other but that all kinds of fit into the same thing. There are times when you have to say, “I’m, you know if somebody else is driving, I have to let go and let them do that.” And whether you’re above them on the org chart or whether you’re below them on the org chart or even with them, there’s times when you have to do that and say, “It’s okay as long as we get where we’re going.” Well, I hope that gave you maybe a little some spark for something to think about in your life and in your business.
Thanks for listening.